After a recent physical exam, my doctor said I was doing “fairly well” for my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn’t resist asking him, “Do you think I will live to be 80?”
He asked, “Do you smoke tobacco or drink alcoholic beverages?”
“Oh no,” I replied. “I don’t do drugs, either.”
“Do you have many friends and entertain frequently?”
“I said, “No, I usually stay home and keep to myself”.
“Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?”
I said, “No, my other doctor said that all red meat is unhealthy!”
“Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?”
“No, I don’t,” I said.
“Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?”
“No,” I said. “I don’t do any of those things.”
“Then why do you give a shit?”
Tip o’ the hat to Jerry Vass